


Where He Fell

by Random_Soul



Series: Aaron Burr x Hamilsquad [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Past Abuse, Polyamory, Poor Aaron Burr, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22177942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Soul/pseuds/Random_Soul
Summary: There was a scale of power and importance and he knew where he fellOrWhere Aaron Burr gets used to being heard.Just a side note, everything in this series is not connected.
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Aaron Burr/Everyone, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, hamilsquad/Burr
Series: Aaron Burr x Hamilsquad [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586617
Comments: 19
Kudos: 205





	Where He Fell

His voice was never deemed important.

Aaron has been in several different relationships and he was constantly reminded of that fact. His opinion wasn’t important and his wants were not needed. He was an accessory more than anything else. Even his uncle would remind him of that. 

There was a scale of power and importance and he fell at the bottom.

His first boyfriend was the one who taught him that… Well, technically, it was his second boyfriend. His first boyfriend was James Madison. They decided to date a few years back. They could usually be seen near each other when they got the chance. One day, Thomas Jefferson asked what dating meant. James said it meant they held hands a lot and Thomas pointed out the fact that he and James held hands more often than Aaron and James. Aaron thought that Thomas and James as a couple would be the best thing ever, so he broke up with James and told him he better start dating Thomas, in which James did.

Kindergarten was such a simpler time.

His first ‘real’ boyfriend was Charles Lee. Aaron has always been reserved and quiet after he moved in with his uncle and that carried over in their relationship. He was never good enough for Lee. When he sought Lee out, he was too clingy and when he didn’t, he was avoiding Charles. And if he dared to voice anything… well, let’s just say he didn’t voice anything. Charles Lee was the only one that mattered in their relationship. Aaron was more like a dog used to keep Charles happy. He was a tool, a toy. He was always pressured to do what Lee wanted and didn’t have thoughts of his own. But Aaron never complained

There was a scale of power and importance and he knew where he fell.

Burr leaped into his writing and schoolwork. He got a pen name and would write short stories and poems. If he had a ten-page essay due in two weeks, it was done in two days. His grades couldn’t improve, but procrastination never affected him. James noticed the difference in Aaron’s smile and the bruises on his arm. He asked Burr to come over after school one day and asked him all that was happening. He explained it and Madison had to explain why it was such an unhealthy relationship. How people don’t show their love through insults and hits. Aaron told James how he loved Lee and James told Aaron how Lee doesn’t love him back. In the end, Aaron decided to break up with Lee as long as James and Thomas went with him. After school one day, the three of them went to tell Lee the news. Lee got angry, insulted Aaron and tried to get Aaron to get back together with him. Aaron almost did, but Madison reminded him he had to be strong and do this. Lee expectantly started to blame Madison. James kept a cool head that made Lee even madder and he lost his temper.

Charles Lee gave James Madison a black eye.

Thomas Jefferson gave Charles Lee a broken arm.

College wasn’t any better. Once more, he got in an abusive relationship with James Reynolds and that was worse than Lee. He wasn’t worth more than the dirt on Reynolds shoe. Burr claimed he loved Reynolds and he genuinely thought he did. This was the only love he ever experienced. Love full of pain, hurt, and abandonment. This was all he knew. He thought it was normal to not have a voice in his relationship. His voice never had any power.

There was a scale of power and importance and he knew where he fell.

This time, the thing that got him from this relationship was a girl named Maria. She dated James Reynolds in high school and knew what he was like. She told Aaron he needed to get out of that relationship.

Aaron sent him a letter.

He feared for his life if he told Reynolds in person.

Thinking back on it, Aaron thought it was funny the only good relationship was the one he had in kindergarten. He stayed with his best friend Theodosia for a while. She had a spacious apartment and Reynolds didn’t know where she lived. Without the work of Burr, Reynolds started failing his classes and had to quit school. Aaron felt at peace. He hung out with his friends and began focusing on himself. Theodosia would treat him like the brother she never had.

He became happy.

She became sick.

After she died, Aaron went into a depression. He threw himself in his work once more. He graduated, got his own apartment, and got a job in a well-respected law firm. His boss, George Washington, always treated him like a son. James and Thomas also got a job at that place and Aaron was surviving.

He was depressed, lonely, scared, and sad, but he was alive.

And that’s when they came.

Directly across his apartment, four people moved in. Burr remembered them from high school. They were the first openly LGBTQ+ polyamorous relationship that most have ever heard of. Burr got close to all of them and most people were rooting for Burr to join them after his breakup with Charles Lee. He always loved them, but he was afraid. His past relationship was full of pain and heartache. He wouldn’t be able to deal with it if this relationship was the same.

He wasn’t strong enough to take abuse from four people.

And then one day, a few months after he got his job at the law firm, he saw a moving truck outside of his apartment complex and didn’t think much of it. It was the end of summer and the prime moving season. He wasn’t connected with any neighbors and wasn’t devastated to think of any of them moving. He was always a loner and didn’t much care.

It wasn’t until he saw several children dropping off boxes in his apartment that Aaron Burr started to really care. All of them looked over at him.

“Who are you?”

“I’m the owner of this apartment! May I ask who you guys are?”

“We’re-”

“HEY IDIOTS! THAT’S THE WRONG APARTMENT!”

“That explains why we had to pick the lock.” One of them mumbled. The group grabbed their boxes and left. Aaron sighed and went to close the door. All of a sudden, a foot appeared and stopped it.

“Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?” Aaron rubbed his eyes. This day was way too long.

“That depends, who’s asking?” Aaron slowly opened the door to see an extremely excited Alexander Hamilton. Behind him were Lafayette and John Laurens holding a stack of boxes and Hercules Mulligan who was unlocking the door. All three were looking at him and the children were impatiently standing with their boxes.

“It is you! How have you been? We haven’t talked since high school. Oh! Sorry about Hercules’ siblings. We love them, but they can be stupid.”

“We thought it was your apartment!”

“Why would you have to pick a lock when we already told you the key works!?!” Aaron took that time to look at them. They look like they haven’t changed a bit. The only difference is Alexander now has a goatee and Lafayette had some stubble going.

“Hey, Burr, how would you like to come over today? Sort of like a housewarming party.” John was the one who asked him this time. They all looked at him with hope in their eyes (other than the children) and Aaron knew he wasn’t getting out of this. So, he agreed. They started inviting him over more and more, but he never was the one who initiated the invite. A few times he wanted to, but he always chickened out. 

There was a scale of power and importance and he knew where he fell.

A few months later, they asked him to join in their relationship. Burr was hesitant, but James told him he should. Thomas asked how Aaron was planning on dealing with Hamilton and James mentioned how, if he could deal with Jefferson, he could deal with Hamilton. Aaron smiled at the argument that proceeded that comment. Though they dated other people, James and Thomas never “broke up” since their time in kindergarten. Finally, in college, they decided to start “big boy dating”. They’ve been together ever since. They are the only reason Aaron knew what a healthy relationship looked like. He ended up deciding that James wouldn’t lead him astray and agreed to start dating John, Hercules, Alexander, and Lafayette. Everything was great. Burr’s attitude started to improve and he smiled genuine smiles. He didn’t move in with them right away, but they didn’t pressure him to. He still kept his mouth shut and let the others make the decisions. His voice wasn’t important. It wasn’t valued.

There was a scale of power and importance and he knew where he fell.

At least, he thought he did.

It all started Monday night. They’ve been dating for two months and Mondays are the days they eat out. They were debating between two restaurants and it was evenly split. Alexander and Laurens wanted to go to a burger joint and Hercules and Lafayette wanted a Chinese place they know and love. They were arguing and then finally, Alexander broke.

“Alright, listen! Why don’t we ask Burr? Whatever he says, we’ll go to.”

“Okay, but you can’t try to persuade him, mon cheri.” Lafayette agreed. All eyes turned to Burr on the couch. He began to fidget with his jacket sleeve and looking around, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“I kinda wanted to try the new Indian restaurant in town.” He whispered. The four of them looked in between each other.

“The new Indian restaurant? The one that’s been open for a month?” 

“You know what, never mind I’m not that hungry and I have work to do. You guys go to whatever you want, I’m gonna go home.” Aaron said, speeding through his words. He got up to leave, but Alexander stopped him.

“No, Aaron. We said wherever you want to go, we’ll go. I was just surprised you didn’t say anything sooner.”

“It’s alright, we don’t even know if we’ll like it and I don’t want to just waste money-”

“Aaron. We are going to the Indian restaurant.” Aaron looked over at Alexander and he had that look in his eye that says he will fight this to the grave. Aaron sighed. He didn’t want to make trouble.

“Okay.” Alex’s face brightened up.

“Great! Let’s go!” They all got up and left. Turns out the Indian restaurant was absolutely amazing. Everyone fell in love with it and told Aaron how he made a good decision. Aaron got home and thought. He voiced a want. His voice was heeded. They listened to him.

There was a scale of power and importance and he began to doubt where he fell.

He never really voiced his opinions again, reminding himself he shouldn’t have any. This continued for about two weeks. Whenever his opinion was asked, he said he didn’t care. One day, someone decided to get some answers. Aaron was working, Hercules was sewing, Lafayette was running, Alexander was writing, and John was curious. Aaron never gave his opinion on anything and the one time he did, he panicked. John remembers Alex saying that James is sick and has to stay at home, making Thomas more annoying and irritable. This gave John an idea. If anyone knew about Aaron, it was him. He got into his car and went to Madison's house, knocking on the door.

"Hello?"

"Hey James, I'm really sorry to bother you when your sick, but I had some questions." James moved out of the way, letting John in.

"Sit down, I'll make us some tea."

"I already feel guilty enough keeping you awake when you should be resting, let alone giving me tea. You sit and I'll get it started." James gave him a shy smile and John gave him a stern look. James sat down and Laurens made them both tea, sitting down across from James.

"So, what were your questions?"

"Okay, so, on Mondays we all go and eat out, right? Well, about two weeks ago, we couldn't decide where to go. It was a tie, so we asked Aaron to break it. Wherever he wanted to go, we'd go. He whispered something about the new Indian restaurant. Alex repeated him, you know, to make sure that's what he was saying. Needless to say, Aaron started freaking out. He began blubbering about how it didn't matter and not being hungry anymore. Well, we convinced him to come with us and we all went to the place and had a fine time. Since then, though, Aaron refuses to give his opinion. He'll say how he doesn't care, or will straight up walk out of the room. Do you know why?" James put down his cup of tea.

"I do, but it's not my place to tell. Aaron needs to tell you when he's ready to share that information, considering it's rather private. I will give you my advice, though. Ask Aaron for his opinion every chance you get. Let him make decisions and let him know it's okay too. He'll fight you, but you four need to fight back. Show him you care. Show him his voice matters."

"His voice always mattered. We have always tried to make that as clear as possible-"

"I know you guys have, but others haven't. What has Aaron told you about his past?"

"He and his sister moved in with their abusive uncle after his parents died."

"His entire life, all he's known is pain and suffering. You are the one who taught him how to love and he's still learning. Just remember that. Now go on. Thomas is going to be home soon and I don't need him killing you for keeping me up, even though I was already awake." John smiles.

"Thanks, James." 

Back home, John explained everything he learned to the other three. They agreed to make sure Aaron knew he was important. So, they did just that. They would ask him simple questions, like what chips did he want, or what type of bread was his favorite. It was small things, yet Aaron was having trouble. He would fight and fight, one time getting into a twenty-minute argument about Doritos with Alex. It hurt him, but the others needed to know.

There was a scale of power and importance and Aaron belonged at the bottom.

It wasn't until movie night that they broke him.

"Aaron, what movie should we watch?" Alex asked, sitting on the ground by the DVD player. Laf, John, and Hercules were on the couch while Aaron was on the love seat.

"I don't care."

"Well, neither do any of us, so you pick"

"I had to pick the snacks too, make someone else do it."

"We've been picking stuff since you got into this relationship, it's your turn to choose!"

"Why!?!"

"What?" Alexander asked, turning towards Burr.

"Why do I get to choose all of a sudden!?! All my life, I've never been allowed an opinion and all of sudden, you guys act like I'm the most important one here!"

"You're not the most important one here!"

"Exactly!"

"But that doesn't mean your less important than any of us!" Aaron jerks back, looking confused.

"What?"

"We're all equally important and all of our voices and opinions are equally valued. You seemed like you didn't get it, so we've been trying to show you it is."

"It's never been in the past." Aaron murmured.

"What do you mean?" Hercules asked.

"All my life, I've been told I'm not a valued human being. I've been in two other relationships and they constantly reminded me that I wasn't special or important. I was an accessory. I wasn't allowed to think for myself, let alone voice those thoughts. There's a scale of power and importance and I always fell at the bottom. You guys were the first to actually care, let alone ask for my opinion." The four others looked at each other, then turned back, hugging Aaron. He cried and for the first time, he felt valued.

There was a scale of power and importance and he knew where he fell.


End file.
